7 Jiminy Cricket’s Journey to Hell

7 Jiminy Cricket’s Journey to Hell
Note:@@@@@@@@@@@@PROCESSI AD ANIMALI

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“I’m making a wheelchair for him,”
Note:IL TIPO CHE TRATTAVA GLI SCOIATTOLI FERITI COME PERSONE

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“He’s making a wheelchair for it out of marshmallows and pretzels.”
Note:UN PAZZO

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Dr. Doolittle
Note:IL PROTOTFIPO CHE PREFERISCE GLI ANIMALI

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I dubbed Lord of the Squirrels

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enforcing laws against illegal drug use is incredibly difficult.
Note:CEETE LEGGI SONO DIFFICILI DA APPLICARE. L INDOTTRINAMENTO È ESSENZIALE

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Indoctrination creates internal costs
Note:IN GERGO

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no government detection required.

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through “education”—a
Note:IL MEZZO X INTERNALIZZARE E PRIVATIZZARE I COSTI SOCIALI

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“moral suasion”

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taxes,
Note:ALTRO SETTORE DOVE OPERA L INDOTTRIN

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“pay their taxes to defeat the Axis.”
Note:CARTONE DISNEY IN TEMPO DI GUERRA

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The taxidermied rat you’re looking at here isn’t just any rat.
Note:IL RATTO COLPEVOLE DI FREGARE IL GRANO DEI FRANCESI

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late seventeenth-century

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tried for a crime
Note:IL RATTO SOTTO PROCESSSO

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He was alive for his trial
Note:PROCESSATO DA VIVO

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due process
Note:GIUSTO PROCESSO

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For 250 years, French, Italian, and Swiss ecclesiastic courts tried insects and rodents for property crimes as legal persons
Note:ANIMALI DA SEMPRE PROCESSATI

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courts summonsed snails

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charges of trespass,

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legal counselors to locusts,

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defenses for grasshoppers

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they were God’s creatures.
Note:LA BASE GIURIDICA

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cozening crops,
Note:L ACCUSA AI MAGGIOLINI

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exiled weevils under pain of excommunication
Note:UCCELI SCOMUNICATI

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Vermin trials

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much later,
Note:NN CERTO UN ESCLUSIVA DELL EPOCA OSCURA

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Renaissance

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the wealthiest countries in the world.
Note:OLTRETUTTO

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judicial officials who conducted them were lunatics.
Note:PERCHÈ... IPOTESI FOLLIA

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ordering crickets to follow legal instructions,
Note:ORDINANZE

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a settlement between farmers and beetles,
Note:PATTEGGIAMENTO... FOLLIA!!!!!

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a bizarre joke
Note:LA SENSAZ CONSULTANDO GLI ATTI

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the fifteenth through seventeenth centuries.
Note:EPOCA D ORO DEL PROCESSO AI VERMI E PARASDITI

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sued pests in class action lawsuits.

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under bishops’ authority
Note:SOTTO L ALTO PATRONATO

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members of a distressed community
Note:L ACCUSA

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if ecclesiastics invoked the appropriate conjurations against animals pestering people without God’s permission, God would thwart the pests supernaturally.
Note:SUPERSTIZIONEE DI FONDO... PROCESSP+CONDANNA+INCANTESIMO+INTERVENTO DIVINO LIBERATORIO

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divine pesticide

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sprinkling weasel ashes or water in which a cat was bathed over fields to drive away mice;
Note:ASSURDO?…TITTO RELATIVO...ALTRI METODI

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capturing a rodent, castrating it, and releasing it among others

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hanging garlic around

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from the ancients.

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“one must turn to the ban of the Church.”
Note:QUANDO NULA FUNZIONA

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Chiavenna,
Note:IL GRAN PROCESSO ITALICO

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prosecute caterpillars they charged with trespassing
Note:LA CAISA DI CHIAVENNA

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order the offending vermin to immediately cease violating
Note:PRIMA SENTENZA

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People v. Locusts.
Note:TIPICA CAISA LOMBARD

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in 1541:

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If the court saw merit in the plaintiffs’ petition, it might exhort them to pray publicly for the departure of the vermin,
Note:SECONDA SENTENZA...E APPENDICI

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hold processions

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display extra religiosity

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defense attorneys to represent them
Note:DIFESA IMPECCABILE

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One of them, Bartholomé Chassenée, was a leading jurist of his era.
Note:FAMOSO DIFENSORE DI ANIMALI

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defending a horde of rats—
Note:COME ACQUISÌ LA SUA FAMA

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the defendants were God’s creations and therefore had as much right to enjoy the fruit of his earth as the plaintiffs.
Note:LA CLASSICA DIFESA

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the case was invalid;
Note:ALTRA STRATEGIA DIFENSIVA

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their clients were vermin.
Note:ALTRA STRATEGIA... INCAPACI DI INTENDERE

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they could argue that their clients were clerics, entitling them to the benefit of clergy.
Note:ALTRA STRATEGIA... LO STATO CLERICALE DI PRIVILEGIO

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Vermin trials involved much legal wrangling, and judges showed impressive fairness
Note:TUTTO MOLTO RIGOROSO

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Judges also notified convicted vermin of the penalty
Note:NOTIFICHE

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excommunication from the Holy Church and anathema.
Note:CONDANNA

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rodents damned figuratively by beleaguered plaintiffs were damned literally by courts of law.
Note:DOPPIA DANNAZIONE

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But I don’t see what they’ve got to do with internal costs
Note:RELAZIONE CON I COSTI INTERNI

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In early modern Europe, the Catholic Church levied tithes
Note:TASSE ECCLESIALI

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Church assessed tithes “on the natural yield,”
Note:BASE IMPO

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Enforcing tithe payments was difficult—
Note:PEOBLEMA

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state enforcement had limited usefulness.

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useless for preventing surreptitious, partial underpayment.
Note:VAGHEZZA SULLE QUANTITÀ

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Citizens developed “1,001 ruses” to evade

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citizens opened new plots and didn’t declare them.
Note:METODI DI EVASIONE

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hid portions of their harvests

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crop switching:

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Personal gardens were often tithe exempt,
Note:ESENZIONI

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the rompu: the harvest portion not divisible by the tithe rate.
Note:ALTRO METODO

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According to custom, it wasn’t tithable.

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Insurmountable obstacles to enforcing tithe compliance

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enforce tithe compliance through internal detection
Note:RICORRERE ALL ESAME DI COSCIENZA

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Church, it resorted to the supernatural for this purpose instead of education.
Note:LA DIFFERENZA RISPETTO AD OGGI... SOPRANNATURALE VS INDOTTRINAMENTO

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Supernatural sanctions,

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God’s omniscience
Note:DIO TI VEDE

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estrange them from God.
Note:PENA ALL EVASORE

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excommunication came in several degrees of severity:

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GRADAZIONE

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Anathema, recall, was a kind of aggravated major excommunication.
Note:LA PIÙ GRAVE

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Church deployed these supernatural sanctions to drive parishioners to pay.
Note:COMPLIANCE

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include citizens’ moral obligation to pay their tithes in the Church commandments.
Note:COMANDAMENTI

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“The Lord,” the Fourth Lateran Council decreed, “has reserved tithes unto himself
Note:DOVUTO A DIO NN VALLA CHIESA

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evade tithes was therefore to deny God

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But what happened to the vermin?
Note:COSA C ENTRA COI PARASSITI?

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people had to believe in those sanctions for them to work.
Note:PICCOLO PROBLEMA

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Similar to the case of the cursing monks,

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“Why not?” Because of heretics.
Note:LA GENTE NN CREDEVA COME IN PASSATO...PROBLEMONE

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Leading up to the Protestant Reformation and during the Reformation’s heyday
Note:IL CAMBIAMENTO

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challenged the Catholic Church’s proclaimed monopoly
Note:MONOPOLIO MINACCIATO

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Waldensians).
Note:MINACCIA

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Lyon, France,

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strongest at precisely the time vermin trials
Note:VIV XV SECOLA... L EPOCA D ORO VALDESE

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preaching without papal permission.
Note:LA VIOLAZIONE... DOTTRINARIAMENTE ERANO CATTOLICI

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They “were not ‘radical’ heretics, if by that one means heretics who questioned any fundamentals
Note:NO RADICALI

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powerful threat to citizens’ belief in ecclesiastic authority.
Note:CONSEGUENZA...

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Vaudois were Donatists:
Note:RITI E DOTTRINA COME CC MA SENZA SACERDOZIO E AUTORITÀ. UN CATTOLICESIMO ANARCHICO

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it suggested that ecclesiastics didn’t have the monopoly
Note:IN PERICOLO

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Vaudois commonly pointed to what they perceived as ecclesiastics’ corruption,
Note:CORRUZIONE

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important implications for tithing,

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“there is no sin in withholding tithes
Note:INSEGNAMENTO VALDESE

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“God never commanded us to pay tithes.”

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rejected clerics’ power to excommunicate

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censures of the church could harm no one and should be ignored.”

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Vaudois also denied the existence of purgatory.
Note:PURGATORIO... CAUSA DI PRECI E PRATICHE CORRUTTIVE.

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ecclesiastics sought a way to bolster citizens’ faith in the Church’s supernatural sanctions—
Note:LA RISPOSTA CATTOLICA 1 STREGHE 2…

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vermin trials.
Note:LA SECONDA RISPOSTA

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these trials connected the pest infestations that citizens asked them to assist with to citizens’ tithe compliance
Note:EVASIONE=>SFIGA

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court’s sanctions against the bugs are the same supernatural ones that clerics used against tithe evaders: anathema, excommunication,
Note:VERMI ED EVASORI...STESSE CONDANNE

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court’s sentence admonishes citizens to cease evading

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Church could use the trials as another way to preach.
Note:PROCESSO COME PREDICA

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how could they use them to strengthen citizens’ belief
Note:MA LA CREDENZA?

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two possible outcomes: prosecuted vermin could flee or die,
Note:PRIMO ESITO DEL PROCESSO... VALIDAZIONE DEI POTERI

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Insects and rodents are itinerant: a pack of rats that ravages some fields is likely to depart them when feeding prospects begin to look better elsewhere;
Note:QUANDO PIOVE SARÀ SERENO

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pests may be killed or driven away by predators,

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the period of time in question lengthens.
Note:IL PROBLEMA

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by protracting the vermin’s trial, an ecclesiastic court could improve the chances
Note:TRUCCO

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many ways of protracting trials.

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“Delays were frequent and long” in vermin trials.

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“The arguments offered by the counsel for the defence against the proceedings instituted by the inhabitants as complainants are worthy of careful consideration and deserve to be examined soberly and maturely.”
Note:TRUCCO

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“Such trials, argued in exhaustive detail, could drag on for months.”
Note:MESI E MESI A PIACIMENTO

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In the limit, winter arrived, killing the pests.
Note:GENERALE INVERNO

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Even ill-informed farmers recognize that insects and rodents must die or move on eventually.
Note:PROBLEMA

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the longer a trial lasted, the less convincing was the evidence
Note:IL DIFETTO DI TRASCINARE

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the shorter a trial’s duration, the more convincing

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confronted a trade-off:
Note:PROCESSI BREVI E CREDIBILI E LUNGHI E POCO CREDIBILI

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ecclesiastics could produce false positives
Note:DOSANDO IL PROLUNGAMENTO NEL TRADE OFF

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trials short enough

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That evidence in turn boosted citizens’ belief

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ecclesiastics conducted vermin trials only on an as-needed basis—when and where it was profitable for them to try and prop up people’s beliefs.

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QUANDO PROCESSARE

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when citizens came asking for a trial, ecclesiastics would direct them to simply pray on the matter instead.
Note:I BUONI CONTRIBUENTI VENGONO RESPINTI

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where citizens’ belief in their supernatural sanctions was strong enough that they brought lawsuits against vermin but weak enough that they didn’t pay all their tithes already.
Note:QUANDO SI CELEBRA IL PROCESSO

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tithe revenues should be falling in communities under heretical influence, which is also where we should see vermin trials
Note:L EVIDENZA NECESSARIA

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I don’t have tithe revenues by community

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think of some other way to test my argument—
Note:ALTRE EVIDENZE

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Vermin trials should be concentrated in those parts of France, Italy, and Switzerland populated by tithe-threatening heretics—
Note:ALTRO TEST

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take a look at the map

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Berne,

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Constance,

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Edward Payson Evans
Note:FONTE DEI LUOGHI

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The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of Animals.

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The cross-hatched areas reflect approximate regions of known Vaudois concentrations

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Burgundy,

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Rhône-Alpes,

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Lorraine,

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southern Aquitaine;

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Lombardy;

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cantons of Berne, Vaud, Lucerne, and Neuchâtel.

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I can use areas of intense witch trials
Note:ALTRA PROXY

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samples of both kinds of trials are small—

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interpreted with caution.

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As Tuskernini pointed out a minute ago, it’s clear that vermin trials and the trials of heretics “exhibit a correlation of time and space.”
Note:OK CORREL

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eastern France (along the Saône-Rhône River axis), northern Italy (the Piedmont region), and western Switzerland (the Jura region, which spills over into eastern France).
Note:AREE PROCESSI

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The Protestant crescent corresponds to a region where belief in ecclesiastics’ supernatural sanctions was too weak
Note:ISOLE TERRITORIALI SENZA PROCESSI

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France, was, in the words of one historian, “the wealthiest and most populous state in Europe, and the one with the most coherent political geography.”68 It was also “easily the most powerful nation in Europe”
Note:IL PRIMITIVISMO NN SPIEGA NULLA

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Primitivism doesn’t explain

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Ecclesiastics here weren’t crazier than elsewhere

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the periods in which vermin trials and witch trials happened,
Note:TEMPI

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Temporal distribution of vermin trials and heretics, 800–1800.
Note:CARTINA

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62 cases of the former and 572 cases

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I have imprecise dates for several vermin trials:

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high but imperfect.
Note:CORRELAZIONE

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Between 1400 and 1450, no vermin trials are conducted, and 17 percent of witch trials occur.

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the second half of the fifteenth century,
Note:CONCENTRAZIONE

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existed as a distinct group located predominantly in Piedmont until the end of the seventeenth.
Note:RESIDUO VALDESE NEL 500… E NN A CASO I PROCESSI SOLO LÌ

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can incentivize desired, and often socially desirable, behavior.
Note:LPA SUPERSTIZIONE

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senseless institutions can be used to create additional belief
ORIGINALITÀ@@@@@@@@@@