lunedì 21 novembre 2016

Introduction Empty Nests - Ready or Not: Why Treating Children as Small Adults Endangers Th by Kay S. Hymowitz

Ready or Not: Why Treating Children as Small Adults Endangers Th by Kay S. Hymowitz
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Last annotated on November 21, 2016
Introduction Empty NestsRead more at location 77
Note: bambini/adulti: crimini sesso prostituzione bullismo Anticultural ideas: i bambini vanno bene così come sono.. la teoria va bene all economia(vendere ai bimbi é più facile) alla politica (mito dell autonomia) ai genitori (che non hanno tempo x l educazione) i bambini si presentano come dei piccoli adulti quando invece ancora non lo sono, cio' comporta pericoli. Chi sono i colpevoli? i colpevoli comunemente additati: genitori stressati, mancanza di segreti (televisione...) Il colpevole del libro: le teorie esplicite (pedagoghi, media, avvocati, marketing...) che postulano sempre più l' autonomia del bambino pinocchio: un bambino chd sbaglia (e che quindi ha bisogno)... oggi è inconcepibile il mito dell indipendenza ha reso i bimbi sempre più soli Edit
Note: INTRO@@@@@@@@@ Edit
Ellen Key,Read more at location 78
Note: 1909 Edit
century of the child.”Read more at location 78
Note: XX SECOLO Edit
progressive reformers set out to “discover” childhood.Read more at location 80
They rid the nation of child labor and ensured educational opportunitiesRead more at location 80
instituted a separate justice systemRead more at location 81
the century has discovered childhood only to lose it.Read more at location 83
profound transformation over the last thirty years in the way children look and act.Read more at location 84
Children are committing so many more serious crimesRead more at location 85
experts are recommending abandoning the juvenile courtRead more at location 86
Nor are these crimes limited to poor and older adolescents.Read more at location 87
gun search policy into its elementary schoolsRead more at location 88
Sexual intercourse,Read more at location 91
Note: .... Edit
has become commonplace among kidsRead more at location 92
dramatic increases in the rates of out-of-wedlock childbirth, welfare dependency, fatherlessness, and abortion. Even though the percentage of teens having sex has decreased somewhat in recent years, sexual activity has trickled down to ever-younger ages.Read more at location 92
Note: x ESITO Edit
sexual sophistication of twelve-year-olds.Read more at location 94
In 1993 the schools in New Haven, Connecticut, began distributing condoms to fifth graders.Read more at location 94
according to the New York Times health columnist Jane Brody, experts believe parents should begin teaching girls “how and why to say ‘no’ and what to do should they say ‘yes’” at nine years old, an age that would shock almost any culture.Read more at location 95
Infants now have “lapware” computers with educational programsRead more at location 99
soccer teams for three-year-oldsRead more at location 100
some educators have damned recess as “a waste of time”Read more at location 101
increased the homeworkRead more at location 102
Third graders recite jokes told by David LettermanRead more at location 103
kindergartners might be studying the Holocaust or AIDS in school.Read more at location 105
kids as experts on things like the Internet,Read more at location 106
the most noticeable changes,Read more at location 108
kids between eight and twelve,Read more at location 108
“tweens.”Read more at location 109
Bruce Friend,Read more at location 109
kids between ten and twelve have started to act and dress more like yesterdays’s twelve-to-fourteen-year-olds.Read more at location 110
children describe themselves as “flirtatious, sexy, trendy, cool.”Read more at location 112
lip gloss, “hair mascara,” body paint, and scented body oilsRead more at location 113
Note: ....... Edit
for the ten-year-old sophisticate.Read more at location 114
the toy industry has nothing to celebrateRead more at location 114
today that market has diminished to those between birth and ten.Read more at location 116
The psychologist David Elkind believes “the hurried child” is the offspring of stressed-out, overambitious parentsRead more at location 118
responding to an increasingly competitive society.Read more at location 118
the rapidity with which divorce and family breakdownRead more at location 119
Marie WinnRead more at location 119
children are “without childhood”Read more at location 120
“end of secrecy”;Read more at location 120
once considered adult, especially sexual, information.Read more at location 121
Neil PostmanRead more at location 121
the culprit is television.Read more at location 122
When literacy was a prerequisite for knowledge, children could be kept in the dark.Read more at location 123
this book will point to another causeRead more at location 127
The disappearance of childhood is, to a far greater extent than previously understood, a result of conscious human design.Read more at location 128
psychiatrists, educators, child advocates, lawmakers, advertisers, marketers, and storytellers both in print and on the screen.Read more at location 129
Note: x I COLPEVOLI Edit
openly rejected the idea of childhood,Read more at location 130
Note: NESSUNA Edit
They have helped to advance the idea of children as capable, rational, and autonomous,Read more at location 131
In this view, children need little shaping by adults;Read more at location 133
childhood has lost its traditional purpose as the time set aside for shaping raw human material into a culturally competent adult.Read more at location 133
Note: x MONDO XDUTO Edit
the idea that children must be inducted by their elders into a preexisting society,Read more at location 138
Patricia HerschRead more at location 140
“Everything is up for debate,Read more at location 141
children as solitary and autonomous observers,Read more at location 142
Adults are reduced to personal trainers or mere companionsRead more at location 143
they have no role in either socializing them or investing the information with meaning and value.Read more at location 144
Their job is to “empower” children, build their self-esteem,Read more at location 145
The belief that the child should develop independently of the prevailing culture and even in opposition to it is what I call anticulturalism,Read more at location 146
In most cultures, it is axiomatic that adults civilize children by teaching them the rules of moralityRead more at location 151
Carol Gilligan,Read more at location 152
adults are the problem; the kids are okay.Read more at location 153
preadolescent girls are more moral than either their older counterparts or their elders.Read more at location 154
Note: STUDI DI... Edit
They are “genuine,” she claims,Read more at location 155
problem for children occurs when adults interfere with these abundant natural gifts.Read more at location 158
Gilligan is convinced that her subjects have undergone not too little of the civilizing process but too much.Read more at location 159
moral self of these girls is drowned out by the “foreign voice-overs of adults,”Read more at location 160
Here is the anticultural myth resplendent: children are naturally moral creatures who are ruined by the adults who attempt to civilize them.Read more at location 163
Robert Coles’ bestselling The Moral Intelligence of ChildrenRead more at location 165
children are not simply moral, but “morally intelligent.”Read more at location 168
the wisdom of his nine-year-old son, who tells him to slow down because he might cause an accidentRead more at location 170
“My son had become my moral instructor,”Read more at location 171
child is often father to the man.Read more at location 172
human beings have an innate capacity for moralRead more at location 173
we could not have developed a civilization without some natural orientationRead more at location 174
it was considered an obvious fact that children are prone to cruelty, aggression, and boundless egotismRead more at location 176
Note: FINO AL 1950 Edit
Freud went so far as to add sexual perversion and patricidal wishes to the gallery of childhood evils.Read more at location 178
Note: x FREUD Edit
James Q. Wilson expressed surprise that he could not find one reference to self-restraint.Read more at location 180
impulse has been erasedRead more at location 182
instinct, which once evoked our animalistic legacy, has been sanitizedRead more at location 183
Peter Stearns,Read more at location 186
manuals worriedRead more at location 186
cruelty toward animals,Read more at location 186
fear of animals.22Read more at location 187
Anne MacLeod,Read more at location 188
children’s literature,Read more at location 188
Nineteenth-century books contain child characters who frequently misbehave or demonstrate cruelty,Read more at location 188
But by the mid—twentieth century, child heroes seem to have no personal lessons to learnRead more at location 190
Judy Blume’sRead more at location 190
egotistic children “without comment and certainly without criticism.”Read more at location 191
expert optimism about their children.Read more at location 193
American mothers tend to see their children’s positive characteristicsRead more at location 193
“It wasn’t my kid; it must have been the other one,”Read more at location 196
child’s misbehavior.Read more at location 196
David Elkind lectured across the country about the myth of what he called the “SuperkidRead more at location 200
Note: T Edit
This sturdy optimism about children’s natures should not be confused with romantic and Victorian pieties about childhood innocence.Read more at location 202
The child of the computer age is efficient and orderly rather than pure and innocent.Read more at location 210
behaviorists,Read more at location 211
Note: ..... FINO AI 60 Edit
who believed that the infant brain was a blank slateRead more at location 212
cognitive scientists,Read more at location 212
Note: ... DAI 60 Edit
view infants as wondrously practical and constructive.Read more at location 213
“Babies are learning machines,” Newsweek announced in 1997.28 Ceaselessly, automatically learning, children are unperturbed by emotions and irrational needs.Read more at location 213
They want only information and input.Read more at location 215
Sophisticated kids with a knowing smirk on their face are a common motif on the screen and in glossy magazines. These kids are frequently accompanied by clueless adults, most of them men.Read more at location 217
as women have moved into the workforce in large numbers, the divorce rate has soared, and “home alone” children have come to make more and more decisionsRead more at location 223
Note: SOLI A CASA Edit
Individual autonomy, the right to live life as we want, to think and judge for ourselves, to make our own decisions, has always been a central dogma in the nation’s civic religion.Read more at location 229
children muddy this sacred principle.Read more at location 231
“Children are the Achilles heel of liberal ideology,”Read more at location 232
turning their backs on other universally understood truths.Read more at location 246
Even in the most primitive societies, people have believed that the transformation of children into socialized individuals who understand the requirements of their culture is an intensive process lasting years and requiring the active and sustained intervention of mother, father, grandparents, older siblings, and other relatives.Read more at location 247
During the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries,Read more at location 249
Note: T Edit
Western cultures began to lengthenRead more at location 249
increasing the number of years children were kept out of the workforce,Read more at location 250
more parental devotion.Read more at location 251
In America,Read more at location 251
By the early 1800s,Read more at location 252
“republican childhood,”Read more at location 253
prepare the young for freedom. In order to shape “self-governing”Read more at location 253
rejected what until that time was an almost universal acceptance of corporal punishmentRead more at location 254
They encouraged them to awaken their children’s minds and stir their interests by giving them time to play freely and by supplying the now recognizably middle-class home with toys and books.Read more at location 255
No one believed that the transmission of these complex and highly contradictory cultural values would come naturally.Read more at location 258
completion of this project required fifteen or twenty years,Read more at location 260
peculiar to the modern Western worldRead more at location 263
children do not naturally know how to shape their lives according to their own vision,Read more at location 266
Doubtless this is partly a practical matter. Many Americans simply feel they don’t have the time to satisfy the demands of traditional parenting.Read more at location 268
Financial pressures have led many women out of the homeRead more at location 269
home life has become what the psychologist Kenneth Gergen has called “less a nesting place than a pit stop.”Read more at location 273
Westchester, New York,Read more at location 276
children go to “homework clubs” that are open from 3 to 8 P.M.,Read more at location 276
seven million children are in “self-care” after school.Read more at location 278
Note: USA Edit
Between 1970 and 1990, white children lost an average of ten hours a week of parental timeRead more at location 279
disengaged parentsRead more at location 281
Economic and work pressures may make some of this parenting drain unavoidable, but a good deal of it is related to the anticultural ideasRead more at location 282
In her 1961 classic, The Death and Life of Great American Cities, Jane Jacobs evokes the casually assumed role of adultsRead more at location 285
“When Mr. Lacey, the locksmith, bawls out one of my sons for running into the street, and then later reports the transgression to my husband as he passes the locksmith shop, my son gets more than an overt lesson in safety and obedience. He also gets, indirectly, the lesson that Mr. Lacey, with whom we have no ties other than street propinquity, feels responsible for him to a degree.”Read more at location 286
only 39 percent of adults would be comfortable reprimanding kids who are misbehaving in a public area,Read more at location 289
Note: OGGI Edit
Parents too show signs of withdrawing from their roleRead more at location 291
Evelyn Bassoff, a Colorado therapist, reports that when she asks the women in her mothers’ groups what happens when they discipline their daughters, they give answers such as “I feel mean,” “I feel guilty,” “I feel like an old fuddy-duddy,” and “I quake all over; it’s almost like having dry heaves inside.Read more at location 293
hire tutors to do homeworkRead more at location 296
youthful incivility points to the disturbingly ironic consequences of anticulturalism.Read more at location 302
prisoners of their own untamed impulsesRead more at location 309
juvenile crime rates have droppedRead more at location 309
children are in jail in record numbers for having committed crimes much more seriousRead more at location 310
Note: MA Edit
Defense lawyers wonder at the change in their clients. “The kids I represented ten, fifteen years ago were so different,” says a California attorney interviewed by Edward Humes in No Matter How Loud I Shout. “They were still kids. They knew right from wrong more or less … Now … they seem like they are brain-dead. You can’t reach them.”Read more at location 311
on college campuses,Read more at location 314
crime has increased in amount and severity: “Harassment becomes assault,”Read more at location 315
a radical “downsizing” of their emotional lives.Read more at location 319
Where once Americans were forced to repress their emotions, they now have permission to expressRead more at location 321
Note: VULGATA Edit
This version of history ignores how much value we now place on rationalityRead more at location 322
the self-sufficient child cannot afford to need othersRead more at location 322
consider the change in the quality of the American child’s home life.Read more at location 323
our own kids live a remarkably isolated and fragmented existenceRead more at location 324
they watch people come and go from their livesRead more at location 325
A study by the National Institute of Child Health and Development found that babies cared for by people other than their parents will typically see those caretakers change twice in their first year of life; one-third of these infants will watch three or more nurturers come and go.49 In The Time Bind, a study of how employees at a Fortune 500 company balance work and family, Arlie Hochschild writes that “real people—neighbors, relatives, friends, baby sitters, teachers in after-school programs, and parents with flexible work schedules—have disappeared, while MTV, the ‘new neighbor’ for the latchkey child, remains only a press of a button away.”Read more at location 326
turning them into rootless migrants without a sense of place or coherent relationships.Read more at location 334
They also have fewer siblings—Read more at location 337
less likely to know their neighborsRead more at location 338
The relationship between adults and children has been infected by the legalistic ethos that so dominates our society.Read more at location 341
I Can Take Care of MyselfRead more at location 342
recommends a pseudolegal agreement between parents and their “self-care” childrenRead more at location 342
lawsuits against showing too much affectionRead more at location 344
“Teach but don’t touch,”Read more at location 344
a lawyer for the National Education AssociationRead more at location 345
“If you hug a child, even a child who is hurt or crying, I will break your arms and legs … If kids need help in the bathroom, take an aide with you, or let them go on the floor.”Read more at location 345
Note: x ABRACCI Edit
“less relaxed around children,”Read more at location 348
What do Americans want for their children? In every study, one stark answer predominates: independence.57Read more at location 354
Evidently, it’s never too early.Read more at location 356
Hollywood has been particularly ingenuous in helpingRead more at location 359
Note: ........ Edit
diet in the emotions.Read more at location 360
wisecracking, eye-rolling hipsters on Sesame StreetRead more at location 362
The Simpsons,Read more at location 363
David Letterman and Saturday Night Live.Read more at location 363
children adopt a knowing posture that adults frequently mistake for true sophistication.Read more at location 364
message: intense emotions and passionate commitments are outRead more at location 365
Skeptical nonchalance and cool irony are in.Read more at location 366
as parents and the home loseRead more at location 372
Note: ....... Edit
children naturally turn elsewhere for spiritual and psychic sustenance.Read more at location 372
They find it in the mediaRead more at location 373
peer group.Read more at location 373
Typically, American parents, unlike those from more traditional societies, have shied away from using siblings and peers to socializeRead more at location 373
troubled by the bullyingRead more at location 374
today peer groups are more powerful.Read more at location 375
The shrinking of inner life is reinforced by the influence of science on childhood.Read more at location 377
Science has drawn a picture of a child as an efficient learning machine that needs information and input rather than meaning and values. Play, for instance, was once thought of as a means of exercising and freeing the imagination but is now increasingly described as a way to facilitate achievement.Read more at location 378
transmitting skills rather than knowledgeRead more at location 380
Young children are supposed to listen to classical music, we are now informed, not because it enriches the spirit by connecting us to a meaningful tradition or by expanding a shared vocabulary of human feeling, but because it advances spatial and temporal reasoning.Read more at location 381
Families should eat together not because mealtime allows them to partake in the timeless rituals of civilized manners and communal sharing, but because children who listen to mealtime conversation do better on vocabulary and reading tests.Read more at location 382
“How Love Boosts Brainpower”Read more at location 384
1997 article in Parents.Read more at location 385
Treating children as autonomous, self-sufficient loners inevitably corrodes their capacity for both strong, trusting connectionsRead more at location 389
the waning of childhoodRead more at location 392
Note: T Edit
It also raises questions about the future of democracy.Read more at location 392
Freedom is meaningful only when individuals possess the ability to direct their livesRead more at location 394
individuals must be self-aware, self-controlled, forward-looking, and deliberative,Read more at location 395
critics like Lasch and Robert Putnam have alerted us to a breakdown in civil society.Read more at location 398
less interest in joining organizations, ranging from bowling leagues to parent—teacher associations.Read more at location 399
“Every year over the last decade or two,” he wrote in his essay “Bowling Alone,” “millions have withdrawn from the affairs of their communities.”66 In One Nation After All Alan Wolfe describes a similar retreat: “American suburban communities do seem to be chilly places. Devoid of people during the day, they are filled with people sitting behind television or computer screens in the evenings, too self-preoccupied to live a Tocquevillian life of civic engagement.”Read more at location 400
Note: x PUTNAM Edit